Vicuña by Jon Robin Baitz

Author:Jon Robin Baitz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

ACT TWO

SCENE ONE

(A week later. KURT SEAMAN is in the atelier. A woman in her sixties, formidable, in conservative attire, a scarlet red suit, Senator KITTY FINCH-GIBBON. On the mannequin is the almost complete debate suit.)

FINCH-GIBBON: I must say—an odd choice of places to meet.

SEAMAN: Why? Anselm is the soul of discretion. You asked for privacy and discretion. What more could the chair of the Republican National Committee want? It’s just us. Kit, it’s five; scotch?

FINCH-GIBBON: Vodka.

SEAMAN: Neat?

FINCH-GIBBON: Rocks.

(He pours them a drink.)

SEAMAN: What do you think of mine?

(points to the mannequin)

The suit. For the big debate.

FINCH-GIBBON: Yes, Anselm makes the best suits.

SEAMAN: Exciting times, and I have to say, the party, you were balky at first. You were! But you all came around because everyone needs a win, and here we are, aren’t we!

(He clinks glasses)

So, we’re here to discuss money? Let’s get to it.

FINCH-GIBBON: Kurt, it’s a very large figure.

SEAMAN: “Large” is my second-favorite word except when it comes to women’s hips and waiters’ tips.

FINCH-GIBBON: You can drop the fake crassness. How about that?

SEAMAN: I’m not being crass, Kitty.

(suddenly all ice)

I’m just talking to you with the respect I think you deserve.

(There is a PING. SRI-LANKA enters, wearing a gray flannel suit. The outfit imagined by AMIR for her. AMIR enters behind her.)

SEAMAN: Ah. Well. Look who’s here. Darling, you’ve met Senator Kitty Finch-Gibbon, haven’t you?

FINCH-GIBBON: Yes. And how wonderful that you’ve taken such an active role in your father’s campaign.

SRI-LANKA: Thank you. A steep learning curve.

FINCH-GIBBON: You’ve had a rough few weeks, Kurt. Many people attribute your recent uptick in the polls to your daughter’s iron fist after the infamous Barnard flip-flop fiasco.

SEAMAN: Will you look at that suit?

SRI-LANKA: Yes. Amir made it for me. Can we speak alone, Dad, for a moment?

SEAMAN: You made it? Amir? Did you? Wow. It’s fantastic.

AMIR: Sir—I need to ask you something. My father, his food carts. He’s being harassed. Green card issues. License questions. Spot health inspections, since last week. I wonder if you might know anything about this?

SEAMAN (looks at his daughter): Amir. I have a lot on my plate. So, no. I do not harass “food cart” people. I am not that kind of man. Trust me.

AMIR: Please, please, if you are, just … stop, my parents are old, they’re struggling—

SEAMAN: Son. If your parents are kosher, you have my word.

AMIR: If they’re—

SEAMAN: I know. I was not my best self last time we talked. I don’t get enough sleep—I’m on edge running for president and stuff. But I put our encounter behind me, you gave as good as you got and—

(regarding SRI-LANKA’s suit)

My God, you are so skilled. But I don’t think you’re needed right here, right now, Amir. This is private.

(AMIR leaves. A moment. SRI-LANKA starts to leave as well.)

FINCH-GIBBON: Please, Sri-Lanka. I would like your counsel as Kurt’s campaign manager and daughter.

(SRI-LANKA sits)

I am not here, strictly speaking, in my official capacity as the Republican Party chairwoman. Rather, I am here representing political and business

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